A Bit Too Far, Perhaps
by patrick vaughn stump
Summary: Grantaire feels as if Enjolras has forgotten what it is like to love, with the oncoming war taking most of his attention. But does Enjolras truly love France more than Grantaire?
1. Memories

**I**

"_**MEMORIES"**_

He was beautiful. The way his golden hair shined in the sunlight, his eyes lighting up with wonder and delight. And, for a while that seemed far too short, he was mine. But he was forced to grow up, and the light left his eyes as he started to love the flag more than he could ever love me.

I slammed my bottle down on my bedside table, cursing under my breath. The alcohol splashed over my sleeve like blood on a flag of surrender. I had hoped the liquid would numb my never ending pain, but no such luck.

Enjolras was always my biggest weakness. He talked of war, of revolution, of sacrificing everything for France. I, for one, had no interest in war whatsoever, yet I joined the group of foolish young students who followed him. I needed to make sure he got out of this alive, and if he died, I would be at his side. He was the only thing worth fighting for in this godforsaken world I knew. Letting go of him would be worse than death.

There was a time before the revolution, a time I missed so dearly. Summer nights spent in old cabins, staring up at the countless stars in the dark sky, his head on my chest as I ran my hands through his locks of spun gold. We would wake tangled together, our fingers entwined. His skin was warm against mine, his lips soft and comforting. I would have done anything, _anything at all, _to touch him again, to feel his heart beating underneath my fingertips.

Enjolras later learned of the rebellion, and he took it upon himself to lead the movement. We grew apart further still, him forgetting of the times we had shared, me remembering them even more vividly than before. I began to drink to numb the pain, and I made myself responsible for Gavroche. He needed a father, and I needed someone to care for. The pain was still unbearable; simply looking at Enjolras would shoot daggers through my heart.

I collapsed on the small bed, my eyes beginning to water. I glanced at the empty space beside me, imagining his face staring longingly back at mine. I reached out, yet I found I could not touch him. He was only in my mind, after all. I let my arm fall to the mattress, letting the tears fall onto the sheets. I slowly drifted to sleep, my dreams clouded with images of him.


	2. Lamarque is Dead

**II**

"_**LAMARQUE IS DEAD"**_

Marius came bounding up the stairs of the ABC, where all of us had gathered to celebrate the night before the barricade rose. He collapsed in a chair, gazing dreamily off into the distance. "Marius, you look as if you have seen a ghost!" I remarked, turning to face him.

"She could have been," He breathed, smiling giddily. "She was there one moment, and gone the next."

I laughed, not believing my what I was hearing. Marius, in love at last? Surely not.

Enjolras had overheard the commotion and sat across from me, his eyes fixed on Marius. I immediately quieted, ignoring the pain in my chest. "Marius." Enjolras said sternly, "You are no longer a child. I do not doubt you mean it well, but now there is a higher cause." Marius nodded, still grinning. Enjolras stood, addressing the room of students.

"Our world is changing day by day, and we are moving from times of darkness into a time of light."

Marius stood to face Enjolras, a pleading look on his face.

"Had you been there today, you might know how it feels." Marius chuckled, and Enjolras glanced over at me, then turned his head back to face Marius.

"Marius, think of the people." Marius just shook his head and laughed. I found this quite amusing, and decided Enjolras needed reminding of what love really was.

"Go on, Marius," I urged him. "Tell him how you feel about the girl." Enjolras glared at me, but Marius was already rambling about the woman he met.

"She was beautiful, her eyes like sapphires, oh, Enjolras, if you could have seen her; to be struck to the bone in a moment of breathless delight!" Enjolras rolled his eyes at Marius. Marius opened his mouth to protest, but his retort was interrupted by Gavroche's footsteps on the stairs.

"General Lamarque is dead."

Enjolras gasped, but composed himself and turned to the rest of the students. "Lamarque's death is the hour of faith. The people shall rise at the barricade, our flag held high!"


	3. Before The Barricade

**III**

"_**BEFORE THE BARRICADE"**_

I unbuttoned the tattered vest, laying it askew on a chair. I ran my hands through my hair, not knowing what to expect next. The barricade would rise the next day, and I could die- or worse, Enjolras could die, and I wouldn't be able to bear the pain.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my door frame. I was surprised to find that it was Enjolras who was standing there, his expression melancholy.

"Grantaire." He said, a sorrowful edge to his voice. I was puzzled, considering Enjolras was usually very upbeat and determined. I turned toward him, and he strode across the room to me. He furrowed his eyebrows, staring at the floor until he slowly looked up, his eyes meeting mine.

"Enjolras, I-" My sentence was cut off by his lips pressing against my own.

I was astonished at this - for I thought he had forgotten about the time we spent together; but I gave in. I melted into him, my fingers running through his hair and his arms around my waist. He pulled me closer to him, and my heart hammered in my chest. Yes, this is what I had wanted for so, _so_ long. He was right here, and that is all I had waited for on so many sleepless nights filled with drunken thoughts and tear stains on pillows.

We broke apart after what seemed like hours, him embracing me, his lips brushing against my neck as he stammered.

"Grantaire.. I'm sorry, I just couldn't stand it any longer, and we might die tomorrow, and I-I needed you."

"I thought you had forgotten." I chuckled.

"I didn't, believe me. I focused on the revolution to keep myself from hurting you, but you came along with me." He sighed, his fingers trailing along my spine. I was relieved that he still loved me; just knowing that he cared was all I needed to put me at ease.

"I came with you because I loved you." I whispered, and I could feel him smiling against my skin.

"I-I do have a question, though," He pulled away from my neck, studying my face with his beautiful cerulean eyes. "When Marius was going on about the girl he met… why did you encourage him? I thought it was just to be contrary to me, but…" He trailed off, as if he couldn't find the right words to finish his thought.

"Well, Apollo, you're not wrong. I encouraged him because I felt that you needed a reminder of what love really was. Although, I see now that you've known all along." I murmured, my fingers playing with a loose lock of his hair.

"He's right, you know."

"What?"

"'To be struck to the bone in a moment of breathless delight,'" Enjolras quoted Marius. "He was right. I feel that way every time I look at you." He breathed, his eyes wide with hope that I felt the same.

That was the last straw. He couldn't do this to me anymore. Instead of yelling at him for being so frustratingly perfect (as he always was), I did the second best possible thing: I kissed him. He was surprised at being on the receiving end of the gesture; but he gladly gave in. We collapsed, exhausted, on my bed, his head on my chest just like the times when we were young.


	4. Drink With Me

**IV**

"_**DRINK WITH ME"**_

Marius held the dying girl in his arms, brushing her hair out of her face as she whispered. I was too far away to hear any of their conversation, but his expression became more pained with each word she said as she clung onto his hand. Eponine was a close friend, never hesitating to help me or listen to my constant drunken rants about Enjolras. Losing her was devastating, but I knew that she was the first of the many that would fall at the barricade tonight. I was praying desperately (which meant a lot, considering I didn't necessarily believe in a so-called "God") that Enjolras and Gavroche would make it out alive. I needed them to be safe, even if I wasn't. Which wasn't easy, considering Enjolras would throw himself in front of a train for the well being of France, with little Gavroche at his heels.

I sat at the edge of the barricade, wincing every time Enjolras leaned over the to shoot at the soldiers on the other side. They had dragged Eponine's lifeless body to the side, her arms crossed and her eyes shut. She was at the start of an invisible line that I hoped wouldn't grow.

I turned back to Enjolras, who was giving orders to Courfeyrac. I must have been watching too tentatively, because Gavroche strode up to my spot, his eyebrows knit.

"R? Are you watching them?"

"Yes, Gavroche. I'm making sure he doesn't get hurt."

"He?"

Damn it. "Yes, 'he'. Enjolras."

"R," Gavroche whispered quietly. "Are you in love with Enjolras?"

I chuckled. It must have been extremely obvious if even a little one like him could detect it. "Yes, Gavroche," I laughed, straightening his pin. "I am _hopelessly_ in love with him."

Gavroche nodded, his eyes wide and bright. "Oh, well, that's good, because he says he loves you too."

I smiled at this, my gaze rising up to where he was standing. He was beautiful, with the sun setting in front of him, perched on the barricade like he owned the world. If we weren't in the middle of a war, I would have painted him, or simply marveled at his beauty, like I was beginning to do before I realized that this wasn't a normal evening and it may be the last time I ever get to see his face illuminated by the falling sun.

As night fell, the soldiers seemed to have gotten tired, retreating as Enjolras shot after them. He finally set his gun down, climbing down the barricade and sitting on one of the many chairs that were scattered around the barricade. Feuilly raised his bottle, smiling at those of us who remained at the barricade. "Drink with me, my friends, to days gone by."

Joly raised his as well. "To the life that used to be!"

Enjolras shook his head, watching the rest of the Les Amis embrace the girls they loved; all except for Courfeyrac and Jehan, who sat at the barricade, their fingers entwined as they gazed onward. I watched them laugh as they drank and sang, relieved that they were happy on what may be their last night to live.

Enjolras approached me, his eyes weary. He wrapped his arms around me, and I followed suit, trying to comfort him. He drew away for a moment, only to bring his lips to mine. And just like that, the world disappeared. All that mattered was him, nothing else. Of course, that didn't last for long, considering the others had the attention span of a goldfish.

They laughed at us, wolf whistles and cheers filling the air.

"So, it seems that Marius isn't the only one who's in love, eh?" Combeferre chuckled, hitting Enjolras playfully on the shoulder. He blushed, looking bashfully at the ground while they beamed.

"It's about time!" Courfeyrac exclaimed from the barricade, Jehan swatting his arm.

Hopes were high that night.


	5. I Will Follow You Into The Dark

**V**

"_**I WILL FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARK"**_

Death was certain at this point. There was doubt about it; for many soldiers had fallen, and the barricade was about to collapse. Gavroche's body lay next to Eponine's, his eyes glossy. I refused to look at him; just knowing that he was gone was too much pain to bear. Silence fell over the barricade as the leader of the French soldiers yelled to his companions to fire the cannons. My friends backed away quickly as the blow weakened the structure, shielding themselves. One more blow, and the barricade sank, the soldiers climbing up the broken wall.

It was obvious that many soldiers and rebels died. I, for one, did not realize this, for I was asleep in the cafe. I had once again used alcohol to heal my emotional wounds; after Gavroche fell at the barricade, I was more than distraught. So, there I sat, slumped over at a table in the back of the room, the soldiers either not noticing or caring about me. The funny thing was: the commotion, didn't wake me up, no. It was the silence.

As soon as the cafe and its surrounding chaos subsided, my slumber had been interrupted. After I realized what was happening, I knew that I had to get to Enjolras. He was the only person who mattered and I needed to be by his side, so God help me. I stumbled out of the chair, my head spinning as I looked left and right for my he only person I loved.

"Take aim!" I heard a loud cry from above. I strode up the steps, or what was left of them.

"Long live the Republic!" I yelled as the soldiers came into sight. There were at least a dozen of them, their guns aimed at Enjolras. He stood in the corner of the room, still holding the flag of the rebels. His eyes slowly met mine as I parted the crowd, their guns now pointed at me.

I stepped beside Enjolras, and he stared at me incredulously.

"Finish both of us with one blow." I addressed the soldiers, their eyes squinted in confusion.

"Do you permit it?" I asked Enjolras, who smiled and pressed his hand into mine. Our fingers interlocked as he raised the flag.

Then everything went dark.

_**"If Heaven and Hell decide,**_

_**That they both are satisfied,**_

_**Illuminate the 'No's' on their vacancy signs,**_

_**If there's no one beside you,**_

_**When your soul embarks,**_

_**I will follow you into the dark."**_

_A/N: Well, I hope you all enjoyed this fic! If you didn't understand the last paragraph or the title, they are both in honor of George Blagden, the actor who portrays Grantaire in the Les Mis movie, and probably the biggest Enjoltaire shipper. He wrote a fansong of Death Cab for Cutie's "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" about Enjolras and Grantaire. The link to it is here: watch?v=w30Irt3m_jU . The title is a reference to a picture he posted on Instagram. He wrote a big calligraphy 'E' and 'R', the caption reading "#abittoofarperhaps". I apologize, for I love George Blagden far too much._

_Anyways! Thank you so much for reading this (awfully short) fan fic!_


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